When I think of the opposite of strength, I obviously think of being weak. And when I am weak, I am fearful. I'm fearful... that I won't fit in, not having close friends, not being beautiful, not making a difference, missing out, not being pursued (by my hubs & by women friendships), that I'll be rushed through life, and well, just not being perfect!
What I desire... I desire to fit in, have close friends, be beautiful, make a difference, never miss out, be pursued, to slow down AND... to be perfect :) I know, I said it. But that's what I want. Perfection.
Why do I desire perfection? Because God planted perfection in our hearts! Desire is a good thing! And to desire perfection is good. But, only Jesus can fulfill that desire! Only He is perfect. (I need to remind myself of that every day!)
So what do I do with all these desires that I have that lead me to being fearful?
"The “desires” of the heart must be desires that are satisfied in more of God in more and more ways. If that were not the case, we would not truly be delighting in God as an end in itself but only using God to get what we enjoy more than what may be found in him alone." -John Piper via Sam Storms (emphasis mine)
OK, so I'm supposed to delight in God. Check. Or... no check... do I really want to do it? Do I actually delight in Him more than these other things??
Delight is a command.
Delight (or joy) is a feeling.
Few. So I can obey & choose to delight. But, it's also a feeling!!
I know how to delight in things. Like I delight myself in chocolate by eating it. I delight myself in my husband by spending time with him. I delight myself in Westin by playing with him & making him laugh. But how do we delight ourselves in God? Sam Storms suggests 4 ways:
1. Intellectual fascination- Know Him! I have this "thing" where honestly, I just don't really care that much about people I don't know. But what's so sweet of the Lord is that within seconds of meeting someone... sometimes as quickly as hearing their name from their lips, my heart is filled with care & love for them. I desire to know them. And to do that, I talk with them, spend time with them, get to know their personality & character- what makes them, them. I think that's how it is with God. To know Him, I need to engage my mind, & become intellectually fascinated with Him!
2. Aesthetic adoration- we are drawn to beauty & repelled by ugliness. "God is ultimate Beauty. To delight in Him is to behold His beauty in all its vast array." Look to Him for beauty. Thank Him for His beautiful creation.
3. Emotional exhilaration- our affections are also designed to find their focus & fulfillment in God- with the Spirit's help we must learn to cultivate & re-direct all affections so that they are rooted in Him & riveted on Him- all of our zeal, love, devotion, delight, fear, passion, gratitude, hope, etc. I need an emotional makeover!!!
4. Volitional dedication- the engagement of our wills & the choices we make. Obey His commandments & choose to avoid all He has prohibited. Obedience nourishes delight & joy.
So you might be thinking, "where is this really going? You're all over the place!" Well, I might be, but I have a point.
See, the root of my fears, the things I think I most desire.... they all tie into these 4 ways that we can delight ourselves in God! The only One worthy of our desire!
Intellectual fascination- root: I desire to be known & to know others
Aesthetic adoration- root: I desire to be beautiful & to be surrounded by beautiful people
Emotional exhilaration- root: I desire to be loved & fulfilled
Volitional dedication- root: I desire my own way, to choose my own path
These fears that I have are because of my desires, desires that should be rooted & fulfilled in Christ.
Thank you, Jesus! It is through Him, through His Spirit that I am able to be strong! Strength comes from the Lord. My desires can change. They can change because of His Spirit inside me who gives me the ability to choose Him over all these other desires.
Let me make this really clear...
I desire to...
...fit in & have close friends ... The Lord is my strength to choose Him- to be so satisfied in Him that I am free to love & be loved by whomever He chooses.
...be beautiful ... The Lord is my strength to be so captivated by His beauty that I see myself as His beautiful creation that I am.
...make a difference ... The Lord is my strength to choose to live for Him & follow His ways so that my legacy lasts for eternity through the souls of man.
...never miss out ... The Lord is my strength to choose to follow the Spirit's leading in my heart so that I never miss out on what He wants me to do.
...be pursued ... The Lord is my strength to see Him as my ultimate pursuer & be satisfied in His passionate love for me.
...to slow down ... The Lord is my strength to stop & enjoy Him, His creation & His gifts.
...be perfect ... The Lord is my strength to look to Him & be satisfied in His perfection.
The Lord is who I desire. The One I find my joy in. The Lord is my strength. I am strong because He has made me strong.
1 comment:
Thanks so much for this honest post about what the Lord is teaching you!! I have those same desires as you and it was encouraging and helpful for me to see you clearly point out how those desires can be met when we look to the Lord to fulfill them and not people or anything else.
Post a Comment