friends

We just spent the past few days down in Daytona Beach, Florida for Summer Project directors training.  Scott & I are apart of leading college students this summer to Rome, Italy!  

One of the bonuses to this training was that I was going to get to see some really great friends.  Sadly, one of them, Adrienne, her son got sick & she wasn't able to come anymore.  This seriously was a huge bummer since Adrienne & I don't get to see each other much-- she is in California, I am in Ohio... not so close!  

I read this from that book I told you I am reading, Cold Tangerines, (I'm almost done!!) and it keeps running through my head...

"One of my oldest friends, Tecia, was my co-counselor for several summers.  On a hundred hot nights, we sat side by side out on our cabin porch in our pajamas and flip-flops, praying for a little breeze, and praying that no one would have a nightmare or wet the bed, telling stories & weaving our lives together, so that by the end of our camp years, 

if each memory were a snapshot, her face would have been in every frame."  

-Shauna Niequist

Now, being a photographer & loving pictures as much as I do, this just makes so much sense!  These are the friends I want... ones to weave my life together with... ones that are in every frame!

Adrienne, you know you are one of those people-- thankfully we've had many summers so far were you are in every frame of my snapshot of memories!!!  

And, I decided that she still will be in my snapshots from Florida...

(the card I'm holding is Adrienne's name tag from the training)

But this won't always be true... starting this summer even :(  And its painful to think of all the friends I love so much that I can't constantly be with.  It makes me heavy with choking tears waiting to flood out at any second... 

Thankfully the Lord has been teaching me a lot, and a lot about friendships & letting go.  I truly believe that God wants us to give Him everything-- not to ruin our lives-- but to enhance them.  He knows best.  That can be hard for me... because I have these incredible friends, ones that I loves them so much, that when I meet new people, I don't want to let the new ones into my life-- in fear of replacing  the others, or just believing my "friend tank" is satisfied & full... these new friends aren't as good as my others that I already have...

But God is gracious.  He's let me make mistakes & learn from them.  What I've learned is that He always provides!!!  When I give Jesus ALL my friendships... He satisfies me.  The people in my life today may not be that best friend across the country... but that is the person that He gave me for today.  And when I open my tightly gripped hands and let that person into my today, suddenly, they are the perfect provision for me.  They are that friend that I needed to connect with, or learn from, or laugh with or cry with... I am finally able to enjoy them as the person God created them to be & the person God provided for me & me for them.  This may be the only time I'm with this person.  Maybe we won't talk next week, or even tomorrow.  But today, today we will.

My dear friend Barbara reminded me that I have ALL of eternity to spend with some of these sweet friends.  And that was so good to hear!  To be freed from the fear of not getting enough time with the people I love the most.  The people I long to be with.  And remembering that God may have someone else for me today... 

We may always have people we like better, or connect better with.  Those best friends no one can replace.  And thats ok.  They can't be replaced.  But God still wants to provide in more ways than you can ever ask or imagine.  The question is, am I willing to accept the precious gifts that He wants to give me today?  Am I open to it?  Or do I hold back dreaming of the things I want but that I can't have today? 

I think I'll open my hands & let God provide...